The key to forgiving is to remember that it has NOTHING to do with your feelings. Take your feelings out of the equation. I know that sounds tough, but it’s the only way to truly let go of forgiveness toward someone, maybe someone you love dearly.

In my own life, I’ve found that I sometimes have to forgive someone what feels like a hundred times in one day. This is especially true when the same issue keeps happening. This is what Jesus said we ought to do. If He said we should, then we know that we can. As Matthew 18:21-22 states, “Then Peter came and said to Him, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.'”

Remember, forgiveness is not about the offender; it’s about us and how not forgiving affects us. Not forgiving others literally shuts heaven off to us. What we think they deserve in punishment often comes back to affect us! Jesus put it this way in Mark 11:25-26: “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions.”
When we don’t forgive, the only one who suffers is us! Matthew 18:34-35 says, “Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. ‘That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.'”

Here’s a simple process for forgiving someone: Say the offender’s name out loud and declare, “So-and-so, I forgive you. I let you go free. I release this hurt and give it to you, Heavenly Father. I choose to walk away from this offense. Heavenly Father, bless so-and-so; bless their home, family, finances, and everything pertaining to life and godliness.”

As a side note, you don’t have to be best friends with them. Keep forgiving over and over until the sting of seeing or hearing from them no longer affects you negatively.